Overthinking

I am a compulsive overthinker. Not in the like, mental health diagnosed way, but in the way wherein I just overthink basically a lot of things. A lot of the time.

I have been this way since childhood, as I remember making mistakes and being so intensely disappointed in myself. I would just sit, rocking back and forth crying, wondering how I could have been so stupid to make such a mistake.

In so many ways, I am still that crying child.

Part of being an overthinker is the part where I overthink being an overthinker. It is truly so difficult to just take something that could be even considered negative that someone says at face value, without analyzing their tone of voice, their body language, what I think they were thinking...it is, in its own way, overwhelming.

Over. Everything over. Overthink, overeat, overwhelmed.

I have a lot of happy days, and my life is by no means unhappy--of course it isn't. I am blessed beyond measure--I am living in affluence, I am living in freedom, I am living beyond what so many others will ever experience.

It can just be so silly. I can just be so silly. And it'll be alright. We'll make it, because I'm not the one in charge. But I'm grateful that I know Who is.